Monday, December 5, 2011

Ladies and Gentlemen, the 2011 'Angries' award ceremony!

Its bigger than the Grammys, puts the VMA's to shame, head shoulder's above the Emmys, In a league of its own compared to the Tonys and is basically like the Academy Awards of the Women's Tennis World. With the assistance of faithful reader Carlos, I give you the 'Angries'.

The first award tonight looks to recognize those who became philsophers in their own right with their words of wisdom. And the nominees are;

Serena Williams - "Really? I just go out there close my eyes and start swinging"
Aggie Radwanska - "I play tennis to have a good body and look good"
Emily 'Captain' Bradshaw  - "I think she thinks that you think she looks like a Pokemon"

And the Angry goes to...Li Na for reminding us all that love is deep with in "It doesn't matter if you are fat or skinny, handsome or ugly, I will always follow you, always love you"

The next award is the 'Fashionista' award for players who could have made a better choice of attire. And the nominees are;

Nadia Petrova - For combining blue purple and a hell of a lot of frills and weird stuff
Kim Clijsters - This.
Jelena Jankovic - For steeling my grandmother's table cloth and calling it a tennis dress.

And the Angry goes to...Venus Williams and her 'wonderland' creation, thing. Notably Venus also take out the Sara Lee award for best Apple Pie impersonation.
Our next Angry is in honour of the great John McEnroe award for dummy spit of the year! And the nominees are;

Sophie Ferguson - Her total breakdown after losing the first set tiebreaker of her first round match in the Australian Open. Mind you she rebounded to win the second 6-0.
Serena Williams - For the US Open final incident, and expressing who she was 'cause...she's in America last time she checked. Just don't violate her for that water.
Caroline Wozniacki - Just for chucking her racquet, and called Daddy Piotr on court when things didn't go her way.

All these where great, worthy nominations but the 'Angry' goes to none other than Victoria 'Angry Bird' Azarenka for her countless dummy spits in Australia, here's a brief sample.
Signs were kicked as well, no pic though :( 
Our next angry is dedicated to Marcel Marceau, when player's expressions say more than what words ever could. The nominees are;

Maria Kirienko - Facepalm in Australia 
Maria Sharapova - For making the RG semi and being happy. 
Honorary ATP nomination - Rafael Nadal lying on centre court in Queens. 

The 'Angry' goes to Aggie Radwanska for her expression when her racquet snapped in Australia. 

The next Award is one for the best winning celebration. The nominees are;

Andrea Petkovic - For her many variations of her 'Petko Dance' 
Maria Kirilenko - Who beat Sam Stosur in Beijing was happy after winning on a magical point
Vitcoria Azarenka - for winning her second Miami title 

The winner is, for the first time in the history of the Angries we have a tie. And a three way tie at that! 
Sabine Lisicki upset French Open champion Li Na in the second round of Wimbledon, saving match points
Serena Williams' emotional return to Wimbledon saw her emotionally break down after her first round win, and the world saw the soft side to the great champion. 
And Aggie Radwanska and Andrea Petkovic 'Petko Dancing' together 

Honourable 'Angries' mentions to those who won unopposed with no competition;

Tounge of the Year - Victoria Azarenka 
Choke or 'Jelly Brain' of the Year - Ana Ivanovic after leading Kim Clijster 5-1 40-0 in the third set of Miami
Worst Grunt of the Year - Maria Sharapova
Best C'mon/Grunt of the Year - Petra Kvitova
Best Tournament Performance of the Year - Petra Kvitova and her 222 winners from Wimbledon
Biggest 'eat your words' Moment of the Year - Serena Williams, when asked if she could lose at the US Open she responded "Only if you put Nadal, Federer, Murray or Djokovic in my draw"

PS. Sorry about gif, but no other way to show these winners to you and PLEASE click the hyperlinks 

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Its going to be one hell of a year!

2012 is just around the corner believe or not. I thought I would take this opportunity to basically embarrass myself and make a few predictions for the forthcoming year. Its only 7pm but I have about 37 tequila shots glasses of orange juice and I'm feeling in the mood to make some bold, some would say insane predictions. Well, here goes nothing.

Petra Kvitova will not win a slam.
Winning your first slam is hard, but it almost seems harder to win your second one sometimes, remember it took Serena two years. She will have a solid year, make a slam final and win a medal finishing solidly inside the 3.

Kim Clijsters will retire before the Olympics
Injury after injury and lacking motivation I honestly believe that Kim Clijsters will prematurely end her career once more, sadly. Probably at the start of the clay season of after Roland Garros

Serena Williams will win two Slams
Australian Open and Wimbledon. She will not win a medal in the Olympics for singles however

Andrea Petkovic will make a slam final
You heard it here first! After a very solid 2011 making three quarter finals at the majors I expect the German to go two steps further.

Maria Sharapova will fail to make the semis of any slam.

Li Na will fall before the third round of her title defence in Paris.
Still struggling with that 'post slam slump' I expect it to stay around for a while longer for Li Na, possibly a reverse of this year with a bad first half of the season and great results at Wimbledon and the US Open.

Pavlyuchenkova will make a slam semi!
After two quarter finals at the majors this year (one she should have won) the Russian will in 2012 make the next step, expect it to be on clay.

Wozniacki will make another slam final, Zvonareva will too.
I don't know why or when or how but I want to believe for indifferent reasons.

Kimiko Date Krumm will have a deep run at Wimbledon and bronze medal at the Olympics!

So, when you're rolling in your winning I expect a fair cut! Do you have predictions you'd like to make?