Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Injury rules Kim out of Paris

Injuries have plagued the Belgium mother for almost the entire 2011 and now what looks to be the entire 2012 seasons. This time the hip troubles Kim Clijsters, the same problem which she retired with in Brisbane at the start of the year, however this time Kim won't be skipping a small event - she will be withdrawing from the entire clay court season, including Roland Garros.

Since returning to professional tennis in August of 2009 Clijsters has only played two tournaments on clay - Marbella in 2010 and the French Open in 2011. The injury that will sideline her this time was re-aggravated in Miami.

Unfortunately for Clijsters injuries have been a constant in her life, especially in during 2007 - her first final year, where she called quits early frustrated by ongoing injuries. And since 2011 Kim has hit by ankle, foot, abdominal  and now hip injuries.

We wish Kim a speedy and successful career and hope that she can reach her goal of playing in the London Olympic Games. 


Marine said...

Her injuries are like a curse. It's a real shame she cannot fully enjoy what's her last season on tour :-(

Anonymous said...

I've been a Kim fan forever but this crap is getting old.

Women's Tennis: Why Neither Victoria Azarenka nor Anyone Else in Top 5 Dominates

Angry Big Mac said...

Thank you Caps for the article.

A former coach of Davenport is talking about fitness? Come on! Very few players have won Indian Wells and Miami back to back as the clowns of this article forgot to point out; and the ones who did it did it, did it once or twice. This guys were talking just to talk, Mrs. Angry was running out steam since she faced Watson. The reasons being mentally and physically tired due to the DOMINATING streak she had going and coming freshly from winning the title at Indian Wells. Are this guys for real? I've talked about Wozniacki to the death, but when you are a chicken and avoid playing other players in top five for sixteen months you are bound to hold the top spot. The article refers as immature to the current players holding the top spots. Why are they immature? In tennis years a player age 19 is mature, at 29 they are most likely bound to retirement. The change of the guard started happening about two years ago. The ball bashers that these guys reminisce about are almost out the door, the new generation has taken over deal with it old geezers! On the bright side the article had three good points 1)Wozniacki has been figured out as I said long ago. 2)Female tennis needs to go five sets. 3)Some female tennis players do need fitness, tennis players of this caliber are world class athletes it puzzles me that some of them have bigger guts than mine. You don't see that on men's side.

Angry Big Mac said...

Here is the list of players that are going to play in Stuttgart barring a withdrawal.

6 STOSUR Samantha
8 LI Na
12 JANKOVIC Jelena
13 GÖRGES Julia
15 PENG Shuai
20 VINCI Roberta

That is loaded field! Everyone in the top ten is going to be there except for Serena, what is up with that? Hopefully she decides to go and gets a late entry. Notice how Bunny is seeded higher than Aggie and Stosur.

Anonymous said...

Maria Sharapova didn’t actually cut her hair
Mona says:

19.4.: Since Monday I am practicing in Stuttgart. I look forward to the beginning of the tournament and I get more and more used to the clay surface here. But first of all we have to cross our fingers for our Fed-Cup-Team this weekend.
Now single, Ivanovic without coach at Fed Cup

Ana Ivanovic, who recently split up with golfer Adam Scott, has not brought her private coach, Nigel Sears, to Serbia’s Fed Cup tie against Russia. Ivanovic’s compatriot, Jelena Jankovic, is having a try-out period during the week with her new coach, Zelijko Krajan. Some Fed captains, like Serbia's Dejan Vranes, allow private coaches at Fed Cup ties, while others, like the United States and France, do not.
Christina McHale blogs from 2012 Fed Cup Playoff

Angry Big Mac said...

Divapova, wig or not still looked like a twelve year old boy with make up. It fooled our beloved Captain. :P

Nothing better than reading Imbecile's news in the morning :P

I hope the U.S. wins every match 6-0, 6-0! Bambi is too cute.

Captain you asked this question to Caps about Mona whether she got a wild card or will play qualies. Allow me to answer your question, Mona said, "If I won't get in directly, I will get a WC".

BTW I'm calling Mona: Monita that is Spanish for little Mona or little monkey since mona is also Spanish for female monkey, (mono for male monkey).

Perfect nickname for Makarova would be "Makarena". :P

Is a slow news week when the main topic is hair. Dee Snider everyone:

Ooooops I meant to say Mrs. Angry Bird. :P Just for the hell of it, here is again:

Anonymous said...

Captain you asked this question to Caps about Mona whether she got a wild card or will play qualies.

I never saw a question!

WC for Stuttgart? I'm lost.

Fernandez navigates personalities, builds Fed Cup chemistry

Angry Big Mac said...

Caps I did not mean to step on your toes, the question that the Captain asked you was in the previous post, Divapova's short hair, 8th comment:

"Caps I think Emma Watson should be added to you list of women who rock short hair! And great stash of Mona pics! Do you know if Mona has a WC into Stuttgart or is playing qualies? I would imagine she would have gotten a WC".

The Captain's question left me wondering myself so I decided to ask Monita herself. She answered this particular question and a couple more; since I had the answer straight from the source I decided to answer The Captain's question. I quoted exactly what she wrote back to me.

I apologize if you felt that I went over your head Caps, it was not my intention.

Thanks you Caps for the Fernandez article.

I really like the article it gave a view how Fed cup coaching is. If Mary Jo Fernandez decided to go into coaching she would be a great coach. In Copenhagen, second round, after Kerbey won the second set her coach went on court. Kerbey was fine but when she saw her coach and he started talking, Kerbey looked like she wanted to cry. Mary Jo is right, a coach wouldn't say the same thing with the same tone to Serena, Dinara, or Bambi. Fed Cup coaches are like baseball managers, it all depends on the situation and the the players available to them. One question though, why aren't the Bondarenko sisters playing? And Mary Jo Fernadez is 40? I like her a lot as a commentator and she seems nice, but I thought she was a bit older.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Carlos. I wouldn't even have known about the question without you mentioning it since I never go back to old threads once a new one starts.

Britons Heather Watson and Laura Robson will both have to qualify for next month's French Open after missing out on direct entry.
By the end, Melanie Oudin and Mirjana Lucic were physically drained, mentally fried after nearly three hours under an unforgiving Wiregrass sun and eager to leave Court 4 at the Westgate Tennis Center.

But Lucic had enough left after their marathon match Thursday to let out a primal scream when an Oudin forehand finished in the net, sealing Lucic’s 3-6, 7-6 (4), 6-4 victory in a fierce second-round contest at the Dothan Pro Classic.
Laura Robson is again on the lookout for a new coach, this time a longer-term appointment who can take her into the world’s top 100 and help fulfil her unquestioned potential.
NBC's Olympics site is also offering up to 5 channels of live tennis. But, you have to authenticate, so ya need a television subscription login id and password. Luckily, my AT&T creds should work since I won't need the same internet company like the ESPN3 fiasco!

And they're also supposed to be launching an ipad app so i'll check out tennis on that too! Plus, will hook this feed up to my hdtv since it should be good quality.

How to Access LIVE Extra

If you are currently a cable or satellite TV subscriber, you will have FREE access to all digital Olympic coverage including:

Live streaming events
Full replays of events

Starting this June, you can GET READY by logging into your provider via

(scroll down below the video)

Angry Big Mac said...

Thanks for the links Caps.

Robbies, your Laura didn't make it out qualies in Indian Wells and Miami can she make it out the RG 12qualies? I say no.

Although Lucic has some rare flashes of brilliancy, Mr. Oudin shouldn't be losing to this type of player if she wants to make a comeback. In fact I think a performance like this hurts her because 1)she battle hard and still lost. 2)She lost to an opponent that is not in the top 100 and sadly over the hill. 3)She couldn't close out the match in straight sets. 4)Choked badly in the third. I think if Mr. Oudin is not in the top 100 by age 21 her career as a top player is most likely over.

Robson take 2: At this point I wouldn't call her potential but I would call her a suspect. Bunny is mentoring Robson? Haha this is too funny! Bunny's philosophical tutelage will lead Laura nowhere (see Bunny's track record). Laura's excuses about Indian Wells and Miami poor performance resemble answers given by the Imbecile. Bunny is doing a good job to mentor Laura into the imbecile club. Bunny might also teach Robson how to kick nets, throw rackets, and stuff herself with ranking points. She says she is looking for a coach, I would suggest Ricardo Sanchez to stay away from Laura or history will repeat itself in the form of Bunny teachings. The article says England have four potential singles players, Sweden only two good players; and because of the depth they have the edge? Well, I prefer two Aces than four Jokers.

About tutelage, how about this question: why hasn't Serena or Venus taken a U.S. player or players under their wings and pass their knowledge unto them?

Speaking of looking for a coach I asked Monita if she was willing to add an advisor to her coaching team or hire a full time coach, her answer, "I am looking for a traveling coach".

Anonymous said...

Bunny is mentoring Robson?

Same thing I was thinking! Apparently Sven/ADIDAS is helping both of them. However, I doubt Bunny throwing in her two cents when she herself is supposed to be learning helps EITHER of them.

About tutelage, how about this question: why hasn't Serena or Venus taken a U.S. player or players under their wings and pass their knowledge unto them?

I thought about this a while back and came up empty. But, I do have a few ideas: Serena/Venus are too busy with their off court activities to invest the time needed to nurture young Americans. If you read the recent McHale link I provided, she seemed 'over the moon' to just be around Serena. Guess we can chalk it up to selfishness unless you or someone else has a better answer.

Speaking of looking for a coach I asked Monita if she was willing to add an advisor to her coaching team or hire a full time coach, her answer, "I am looking for a traveling coach".

Maybe I was wrong about her not being able to afford it right now. Perhaps her 'stay at home coach' has other obligations and can't travel.. However, I have no idea how much you'd have to pay a coach. But, would figure it'd vary considerably depending on their status.

Again, Mona + Momma + Coach = 3X the airfare and hotel assuming seeded players don't get comped hotel rooms? Not sure about that either.

Carlos, last time Fed Cup played was it streaming? I don't remember and haven't seen any schedule with it showing up yet. (5:14pm Eastern)

Angry Big Mac said...

"I thought about this a while back and came up empty. But, I do have a few ideas: Serena/Venus are too busy with their off court activities to invest the time needed to nurture young Americans. If you read the recent McHale link I provided, she seemed 'over the moon' to just be around Serena. Guess we can chalk it up to selfishness unless you or someone else has a better answer."

Caps I came up with the same answers/conclusions too! I know the Captain is a huge fan of Serena maybe she has an input or a different answer or Clefairy. Calling on the Aussies!

Caps about three years ago on ESPN the tennis commentators were discussing coaching. Someone mentioned that a coach would cost between 50,000 to 100,000 a year. I would think their has not been a hike in salary since then because of the economic situation.

"Again, Mona + Momma + Coach = 3X the airfare and hotel assuming seeded players don't get comped hotel rooms? Not sure about that either."

Traveling packages might help. IF they know someone that works as a travel agent they can get great deals. Tennis is an expensive sport due to traveling expenses.

"Carlos, last time Fed Cup played was it streaming? I don't remember and haven't seen any schedule with it showing up yet. (5:14pm Eastern)"

Tennis Channel is the only one that shows Fed Cup or Davis Cup matches, mostly on delay. If T.C. is not scheduling to show Fed Cup games the other option is live streaming.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the answers, Carlos.

04:30 Tsurenko - McHale
05:15 Dominguez-Lino - Cibulkova
06:00 Safarova - Schiavone
06:00 Svitolina - S. Williams
06:00 Kerber - Stosur
06:00 Razzano - Hercog
06:45 Soler-Espinosa - Hantuchova
07:00 Pavlyuchenkova - Jankovic
07:30 Kvitova - Errani
07:30 Goerges - Gajdosova
07:30 Parmentier - Kolar
08:00 Larsson - Baltacha
08:30 Kuznetsova - Ivanovic
09:30 Arvidsson - Keothavong

Wow, 4:30am is an early start in these parts! Who knows what time I will wake up but will most likely catch all or some of the match.

Emily or as Carlos likes to call me "Captain" said...

Carlos about you earlier question about the Bonderenko's I believe they are skipping Fed Cup to play Stuttgart qualifying. Well I know K is anyway. Perhaps you could apply to be Mona's coach, Carlos :P

Angry Big Mac said...

Your welcome Caps.

Thank you for answering my question Captain.

Captain I would first need a letter of recommendation from you in oder to apply for Monita's coaching position. :P

If it turns to a romantic endeavor, would that be unethical? :P

Angry Big Mac said...

Your welcome Caps.

Thank you for answering my question Captain.

I would first need your letter of recommendation Captain, in order to apply for Monita's coaching position. :P

Angry Big Mac said...

Your welcome Caps.

Thank you for answering my question Captain.

I would first need a letter of recommendation from you Captain, in order to apply for Monita's coaching position. :P

Anonymous said...

McHale wins in 3 sets, Safarova over Schivone in 2.

Anonymous said...

Wild Card for Mona Barthel and Kristina Barrois

Stuttgart. After the Wild Card for Mona Barthel and Kristina Barrois five German players are right in the main draw of the 35th Porsche Tennis Grand Prix. Andrea Petkovic, Angelique Kerber and Julia Görges were qualified because of their good ranking positions from the beginning. So many German players were there last 1993rd At that time, Wiltrud Probst, Barbara Rittner, Silke Frankl, Marketa Kochta and Christina Singer directly in the main draw of the tournament.

"Mona Barthel has become great and last played very well. You can also at the Porsche Tennis Grand Prix provide a surprise, "says Anke Huber, Tournament Director of the Porsche Tennis Grand Prix. "Kristina Barrois was wounded long. Last year, it has justified our confidence and their wild-card used to collect the quarterfinals. She has also earned this time. "

Eight players, including Annika Beck, Dinah Pfizenmaier, Carina Witthoft and Antonia Lottner talented team from Porsche Germany, are in the qualification and have the opportunity, the German power base in the main draw of the Porsche Tennis Grand Prix to strengthen even more.

Anonymous said...

Doubles draw for Stuttgart shows a couple interesting things:

1) Vesnina and Mirza both have different partners.

2) Mona Barthel is teaming with MALEK, Tatjana.


CHAKVETADZE spanks CIRSTEA 6-1, 6-0.

First round:

Barrois vs Petko
Imbecile vs Barthel
Dani vs Cibulkova
Lucie vs Na Li
Bunny vs JJ
Kerber vs Vinci
Julia vs Nasty Pav

Possible Second round:

Bird vs Petko
Barthel vs Square Pants
Cibulkova vs Lucie
Bunny vs Kerber
Schiavone vs Ostrich
Stosur vs Julia
Pennetta vs Diva

Possible Quarters:

Bird vs Barthel
Aga vs Cibulkova or Safarova
Kerber vs Ostrich
Stosur vs Diva

Possible Semis:

Bird or Mona vs Aga
Ostrich vs Diva or Stosur

The main draw for Fes isn't out yet.

Angry Big Mac said...

To add: Monita will face the Imbecile in the first round. I also noticed that Mona is in the same bracket with Angry Bird they could face each other in the QF. Brackets aren't rig, yeah right.

In qualies Lickitongue destroyed the Chipmunk with ease 6-1, 6-0, in the first round. In the second round, The Dude defeated the Crazy Czech 7-6(5), 6-2 and Beck ousted Pivovarova.

First round:
Bunny vs JJ
Dani vs Dimunitive
Lucie vs Na
Peng vs Stosur
Nasti Pav vs Julia G.
Barrois vs Dancing B.

Pennetta is at the bottom of the draw.

Fed Cup:
The Russians lost this contest the moment it was decided that Nasti Pav was going to play. Didn't the Russian Captain check Nasti Pav's win/loss record for this year? This loss is solely on the Captain's shoulders. The way the Princess is playing she would have taken out both Serbs, also The Princess plays Fed Cup matches with fire. Now is time to fire their furious leader.

Great Britain vs Sweden, a mediocre pair took out four jokers. BTW Robson was replaced in the doubles match, what's up with that? I love giving a hard time to my Melbourne pals. :P

Captain I withdraw my quest to be Monita's coach so I can become your personal tennis coach. :P

Angry Big Mac said...

I must have been writing at the same time you were Caps.

Anonymous said...

haha same thing I was just thinking!

The draw is out for Fes, nothing special.. Saw Peer, Ula, Kuzzie.

Watched some of Robsons' singles match. That chick has a nasty 'wide' serve. McHale also choked this morning but still won.

Maria Sharapova lost to Azarenka in the Aussie Open final and in the Indian Wells title match. Sharapova will be looking forward to make it to the final of the French Open, for the first time in her career.

When asked about this tournament, Sharapova said, "I feel like I've improved with every year that I have been playing on it and I enjoy it." She further added that "I feel like you learn so much about the construction of the points and the games - such a cat-and-mouse game. I didn't necessarily like that many years back, but I feel like I'm much better at it and I have improved physically as well."

Angry Big Mac said...

The Babos is playing at Fes, in the first round she will play against Bagu.

Fes top four seeds: Anabel M.G., Kuznetsova, Cetkovska, and Wicki.

Bouncing boobies fans should be focusing on Fes Halep is there as the fifth seed. :P

Angry Big Mac said...

Sorry I forgot, Caps, the Divapova quote only confirms what you said about her, that she doesn't have a plan B when she is out there. The true definition of a brainless ball basher. The only reason that she did well last year because it was a dry year, it didn't rain making the RG surface hard. Eventually it helped the Diva's game. Can someone perform the rain dance before RG begins? Thank you. :P

Anonymous said...

Ah, overlooked Babos and forgot about Halep!
Tennis paradox: Petko and Co. top, but second-rate
06:00 Meusburger - Arn
06:30 Beck - Cornet
07:00 Panova - Minella
07:30 Benesova - Amanmuradova
08:30 Medina Garrigues - Bratchikova
09:00 Barrois / Woehr - Schiavone / Vinci
09:00 Chakvetadze - K. Bondarenko
10:00 Brianti - Cadantu
12:00 Wickmayer - Mayr-Achleitner
14:00 Barthel / Malek - Jans-Ignacik / Zhang


As of April 23, 2012

Schiavone, Francesca 11 (12)
Petkovic, Andrea 12 (11)
Cibulkova, Dominika 16 (17)
Jankovic, Jelena 17 (18)
Vinci, Roberta 18 (19)
Hantuchova, Daniela 19 (20)
Kirilenko, Maria 20 (21)
Goerges, Julia 21 (16)
Safarova, Lucie 22 (23)
Pavlyuchenkova, Anastasia 23 (22)
Gajdosova, Jarmila 49 (50)
Paszek, Tamira 50 (51)
Halep, Simona 55 (42)
Babos, Timea 64 (66)
Larsson, Johanna 69 (71)
Williams, Venus 70 (72)
Vesnina, Elena 76 (78)
Gallovits-Hall, Edina 86 (97)
Radwanska, Urszula 92 (93)
Brianti, Alberta 97 (64)
Watson, Heather 113 (115)
Robson, Laura 120 (121)
Dokic, Jelena 123 (125)
Garcia, Caroline 156 (148)
Oudin, Melanie 370 (297)
Chakvetadze, Anna 402 (376)

Angry Big Mac said...

Monday once again or as I call it Blaaaah Day.

Quote of the week: Forgive your enemy but never forget the bastard's name.

Introducing Mrs. Caps321

and Mrs. Caps321

...wait, I'm confused. :P

May the force be with you Clefairy!

The pot calling the kettle...

Thanks for the Article Caps, I came to the conclusion that the Germans couldn't handle the pressure and playing at home was more detrimental than helpful. It started with Licki B. in the previous round, it ended when the Captain threw in the towel in this last round when she replaced players on day two.

Since it was a week off there was no stock movement.

How about this comparison: The Babos is 18 years old (19 next month), she is ranked 64 with one title under her belt. The highly tauted Laura Robson is 18 ranked 120 and no titles. The racquet throwing Babos stock is still red flagged and if she throws her racquet one more time her stock might be out of my portfolio.

Would love to see my girl Monita with the same hair do that she wore when faced Kerber in Copenhagen, or see her with a hair bun.

Message to the Captain: I received an email from Barthel letting me know that I got the coaching job! However you are my top choice but I haven't heard anything from you, if I don't then for sure I'll join of Barthel team. :P

Anonymous said...

Money Leaders
April 23, 2012

1, Victoria Azarenka, $4,008,080. 2, Maria Sharapova, $2,083,350. 3, Agnieszka Radwanska, $1,650,459. 4, Caroline Wozniacki, $615,618. 5, Sara Errani, $554,765. 6, Petra Kvitova, $533,690. 7, Kim Clijsters, $513,691. 8, Marion Bartoli, $509,326. 9, Julia Goerges, $490,010. 10, Angelique Kerber, $451,637.
India’s Sania Mirza had to pull out of the doubles when her partner Flavia Pennettta withdrew due to a wrist injury.
Lisa Raymond, 38, becomes oldest No. 1 in tennis history

"She has worked so hard to be back at the top and I can't even imagine doing that at 38," said Fed Cup captain Mary Joe Fernandez. "She and Liezel make a great team and will be going for the gold at the Olympics."

IIRC, wasn't there something about this doubles team getting split up and one not making it on the team due to Venus wanting to play?

Or will Venus take McHale's spot?

Agnieszka Radwanska, the world No 4, talks to The Tennis Space about comparisons with Martina Hingis, her grand slam ambitions, and deciding to no longer travel with her father Robert as her coach.
Clijsters: Winning Wimbledon would be ‘very emotional’
Looks like Ula is about to get punked out by #149 Kiki Bertens. She's losing 4-6, 0-4 - no video.

Meanwhile, Lickitongue is losing to Cornet 1-3 in the first set.

Angry Big Mac said...

Thanks for the links Caps.

There was a Tweet from Flavia saying she was going to the doctor, but she was coy and did not state the reason she was paying the visit. Now I know, thanks Caps.

Here is Flavia's tweet:!/flavia_pennetta/status/194690514757488640

Google translator:
Hello everyone, I'm going to the doctor just tells me that c .... I will let you know. For now I wish a good day to you all.

"I'm the fittest I've ever been in my career, and I found the right partner too." She waited to be 38 to be in top shape? So what did she do in her twenties, sit around and grow flabby? Huber is a cheater and big jerk.

Bambi better have a good results on this clay court season or she will be out the Olympic team. There is a subtle campaign to get Venus into the Olympic team. Trust me the Jerk won't be replaced by Venus the target is on Bambi, why? Because she is a new comer, soft spoken, and not a super star.

Polite answers from Aggie. I'm hoping she can be able to win a couple of slams so she can taunt Bunny.

Don't know what to say about Kookie Monster she has the top honors of Snap, Crackle, and Pop player of the year, sadly.

Ula and Lickitongue lost.

Kerbey took first 6-2, leading 3-1 against Vinci.

Halep, Cetkovska, and Kuznetsova won. Admirers live to see another bouncing boobie match. :P

$$$ and Bunny wants the top players to earn more money, how about spreading the wealth?

Anonymous said...

Now Bunny is backtracking and saying she was misquoted about the money.. haha - Yeah right.

06:00 Peng / Vesnina - Goerges / Groenefeld
07:00 Cadantu - Halep
08:00 Ivanovic - Barthel
08:30 Kerber / Petkovic - Pavlyuchenkova / Safarova
08:30 Begu - Kuznetsova
09:30 Radwanska - Arn
10:00 Medina Garrigues - Minella
10:00 Hantuchova - Cibulkova
12:00 Cetkovska / Panova - El Allami / Lalami
12:30 Cornet - Sharapova
14:00 Wozniacki - Jankovic
15:30 Chan / Fujiwara - Llagostera Vives / Niculescu

Tennis gets hotter in Washington, D.C. as WTA joins men in newly named Citi Open
Ana Ivanovic finding her groove

Ana Ivanovic has shuffled coaches almost more than David Blaine has reworked a pack of cards in an attempt to find just the right person.

"I have people saying, 'Oh, you know, well done, you've had the same coach for more than six months,'" Ivanovic said in a telephone interview. "It's really hard because they don't really understand what is going on behind the scenes. They just think, 'Oh, you're just emotional, hard to work with and impulsive.'"

Lucie played a good first set but lost the tie breaker to Na Li and the match in straights.

Angry Big Mac said...

Once again thanks for the links Caps321.

This revamped tournament might work out in D.C. since Legg Mason laid history and foundation, unlike L.A.

Reading this article about the Imbecile was as painful as going to the dentist, having a tooth filling, with no anesthesia. FYI it had happen to me twice in life time because the anesthesia didn't kick in. "Graced over 100 magazine covers" yet she is still an imbecile! She is one of the players that think she is prettier than what she actually is. She has unflattering big bum, flat chested, :/ an annoying high pitch voice, she can't say a sentence without her trademark "you know", she is actually 5'11 than 6'0 feet tall, she makes up dumb excuses for her loses, that makes her a lier, and for the hell of it I'm going to say that she smells. XP

Sears coached Dani H. How did that turn out for Dani?

My Girl Monita vs Imbecile

As the self proclaimed new coached of Mona (Hi Captain!):P the first thing she should do is to wear a hair bun at all times. The habit to play with hair is a bad habit of cleaning the sweat of her hands onto her hair (hello Mr. Caps). :P I will suggest to her to wear red because she looks better in red. ;) If she does all of these things she should be on her way to the hall of fame. :P For tomorrow's match I shall hire a heckler that will remind the Imbecile of all of her insecurities and failures. :P

Seriously, the typical way to defeat the Imbecile is to play her close, don't show any negative emotions, and win the first set at all cost. Most likely she will give up mid the second set. I think the doubles match that Mona played on Monday will help her. I still think Mona needs more pin point accuracy on her shots and definitely she needs to improve on her serve. The way Mona is playing right can still knockout the Imbecile. Hopefully the Mona of Hobart will pop up.

Anonymous said...

From watching Mona at Hobart: She doesn't seem to show emotion when winning.. just prancing around which I like. But, she does talk to herself a bit and look towards her box when she makes errors.

About to watch some of Halep's match before the grand entrance of M O N A !!!!

Angry Big Mac said...

My girl Monita won over the Imbecile in straight sets 7-5, 7-6(4) hahaha my evil laugh included.

I scoreboard watch this game with the occasional look at live streaming; I don't think it was well appreciated my loud raucous taunt directed to the Imbecile at 6 in the morning.

Mona was wearing the same bun/beehive hair do that she wore when she faced Kerbey (hi Clefairy!); love the hair along with the prancing.

In the few moments that I live streamed the match, I detected a fist pump from Monita during the second set. Did you see it Caps?

Checked the score and Halep won in straight sets 6-2, 7-5. Bouncing boobies admirers are all smiles.

Anonymous said...

Think I might've saw a fist pump with her back to Imbecile. I missed the last part of the first set. Just stepped away at 5-5 for a few minutes and it was already over.

Not sure what JJ's problem was. She left the court trailing 3-4 to the bathroom(?), lost 3-6, 0-1 -- retired. I stopped watching when I knew she wasn't going to win the first set.

Anonymous said...

Too bad this wasn't Julia having to change her shirt on court at Fed Cup:
Barthel hits 11 aces

STUTTGART, Germany (AP)—Mona Barthel of Germany rallied to upset Ana Ivanovic of Serbia 7-5, 7-6 (4) on Wednesday in the first round of the Porsche Grand Prix.

Ivanovic led 5-3 in the first set and held three set points on Barthel's serve. But the wild card saved two, then fired an ace to turn the match around.
Mona says:

24.4.: It was really nice being able to play this tournament (I got a wildcard). It was a tough match against Ana Ivanovic. I was serving and returning very good today, so I put a lot of preasure on her and I was able to dictate many points.
Injury-plagued week for WTA players

Daniela Hantuchova has a stress reaction in her foot, which caused her to pull out of Stuttgart. The Slovak joined eight players who withdrew, retired or gave walkovers at the tournaments in Stuttgart and Fes this week. "It will keep me out for several weeks," Hantuchova wrote on Twitter. "The Fed Cup tie over the weekend was too much for an injury of this type, but it was worth it to bring our country back to the World Group."

The other eight players who have suffered injury or illness are: Alize Cornet, Klara Zakopalova, Flavia Pennetta, Svetlana Kuznetsova, Patricia Mayr, Fatima Zahrae El Allami, Arina Rodionova and Ekaterina Makarova.

The Montreal Gazette reports that the number of retirements, walkovers and withdrawals in both singles and doubles in WTA Tour main draws have risen 50 percent through April 25. There have been 77 this year as opposed to 46 last year.

Angry Big Mac said...

Thanks for links Caps!

Can I call her "stripper"? Oh wait, JJ did one better:

With Halep victories and Petkovic showing her C cups, boobies admirers are in heaven.

A couple of questions for you Caps. The few moments that I saw my Mona's match the crowd was mellow, did you get the same feel? When I saw the Kerbey match the German crowd was vociferous.

Of the 11 aces that Mona hit, were the majority hit down the "T" or did they have an angle, like a curve ball?...I would expect the latter.

"Daniela Hantuchova has a stress reaction in her foot, which caused her to pull out of Stuttgart."

If I recall, back early in Dani's career she had problems with stress foot fractures.

Flavia: wrist
JJ: lower back injury
Moi Loita: right shoulder
Kuznetsova: left thigh injury
P. Mayr: right hip injury
A. Radiona: left wrist injury

I couldn't find any report for Zakopalova, Makarena, and El Allami.

The article is right, every time you post injuries/withdrawals Caps, a lot of names appear on those lists.

So I become Monita's self proclaim coach and she hits 11 aces, it could have been you Captain! :P

Angry Big Mac said...

My picks for tomorrow:

Ostrich over Furby.

My Girl Mona squeezing Sponge Bart until the Square Pants become elongated. :P

Sam over Julia G.

Angry Bird crashing the Stripper's dance party.

Kirby to repeat her good deed of sending the Bunny back to the pastures.

Na will make The Dude hit the showers early, which one? Women's by default.

BTW another 5am (my local time) start of Mona's match, damn!

Couple of questions for tomorrow:
Will Ostrich's fitness workout along side her young buck pay out?

Will Clefairy go bunkers if Mrs. Angry Bird loses or will she only go bunkers if both Na and Mrs. Angry lose? :P

Will Caps turn off his computer if Julia G. plays awful? :P

Will I keep my emotions in check for Monita's match?

Anonymous said...

Mona is about to start! I can't remember where her aces landed. Not sure about the crowd either.

Lucinda Perry said...

Carlos and Caps I believe Bambi's Olympic spot is safe her and Serena are definite for the singles team which leaves two possible singles spots remaining which could be won by Venus, Sloane or Vania.

Carlos where can I buy into some Babos Stocks? I have my eye on some new stocks. Top Young Stock - Garbine MB wasn't all that impresses with her Miami run until I found out she was only 16! My other Junior Stock is Taylor Townsead who became junior number 1 this week - soild game.

I will only loose if Vika and Li loose. Watch out Melbourne.

I'm doing a teaching placement at the moment and one of the classes I was placed in is studying Othello, because of this I'm going to name Mona AKA Monita, Desdemona. As she is schooling Square Pants

Anonymous said...

Utter domination by Mona!

Marion can't handle the high balls at all. Mona was toying with her big time and didn't even play really hard. Lots of aces, lots of winners, and of course made Bartoli run.

Lucinda - Maybe I'm confused with Fed Cup vs Olympics. I thought the Olympics had one doubles team and two singles. Or maybe I don't know anything about either??

Emily or as Carlos likes to call me "Captain" said...

From what I am lead to believe 4 singles players (max) and I think 2 doubles teams (max)

Angry Big Mac said...

Thank you Lucinda and Captain for clarifying. I thought the same as Caps.

Clefairy: you lost me at Othello, I had to look it up. I'll pass on the notion of reading Shakespeare, :P but I'll take the nickname Desdemona. The story suits me but I wouldn't kill her.

Clefairy I'm the sole stock broker in women tennis. You can send your check payable to ABM.

I heard about Taylor Towsend name before. Garbin lost today in QF at Fes, that is a pretty good run for her.

Captain do you regret not hiring me as your coach?

Caps I agree with you, my girl Desdemona clearly dominated Sponge Bart, she squeeze Sponge Bart into submission.

Anonymous said...

Petko was down 2-6 and 4-4 in the second set. She slid, went down in a heap and had a NASTY looking ankle turn. Retired.

Next up Kerber/Bunny.

Maybe Mona makes the Olympics now?

Angry Big Mac said...

I found it ridiculous daddy Woz was scouting every game.

Time to boil the Bunny.

We have to see how serious Petkovic injury really is. Yeah, it was a nasty, nasty, ankle turn.

Nose bleed, ankle injury...The tennis Gods didn't want Petkovic on court.

It was nice to see Mrs. Angry coming over to help Petkovic. Finally something of Mr. Angry rubbed off on Mrs. Angry.

Angry Big Mac said...

Bunny was boiled and sent to the pastures. Kirby dominated, played at a high level, and spanked, the Bunny; evil laugh included: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The problem with the Bunny and her camp is that they think Bunny plays like Kirby, but in reality she plays a few levels lower than Kirby.

Anonymous said...

Agree - That was one nasty ankle 'roll.' And its almost as if she fell into the injury rather than collapsing. Guess her shoe was stuck and momentum just exasperated the injury.

That said, EuroSport commentators said Petko was 'just' leaving for the hospital during the latter stages of Bunny/Kerber match. (Which came across to me like this was a long time to wait. Unless of course they had to stabilize the injury or whatever.) Plus they said she left in a wheel chair. Which might be common, not sure.

Mona finally gets some love from!
Azarenka shocked as Petkovic suffers serious injury

"My ankle swelled up as soon as I twisted as it. We are checking the ligaments for damage. I am icing it tonight and then tomorrow I will a couple of scans," said Petkovic.

"I was looking for my rhythm at the beginning of the match and just as I was beginning to find it I suffered the injury. It is definitely unlucky, but I will be back again."

In Friday's last eight, Azarenka will now play wildcard Mona Barthel, ranked 35th in the world, who earlier claimed her second scalp of the claycourt tournament when she knocked out seventh seed Marion Bartoli.

"That was one of my best matches," beamed Barthel. "There is a natural extra motivation when the stadium is full and the crowd is behind you, but I am keeping my feet on the ground."

"My opponent had nothing to lose, that makes a first time head-to-head difficult," said Bartoli of Barthel, who is among a batch of promising German female tennis players and won the Hobart WTA tournament in January.

"Mona played a lot tougher than I thought. I watched her playing Ana and had noticed that she has a hard serve and strong strokes.

"But I was still surprised about how fast she could play, I virtually had no chance to defend, especially on this slippery surface, at times it felt like I was playing on ice."

Mona prancing around is just a ruse and then she starts moving fast on points, eh? Or is she just conserving energy and means no deceit? If anyone knows its Square Pants the genius. That said, I do like the 'kind words' Bartoli spoke of Mona.

Halep knocks out top seed in Morocco

Big matches tomorrow:

Starting at: 2:00 pm (8:00 am Eastern)

Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) [4]
Na Li (CHN) [8]

followed by

Victoria Azarenka (BLR)
[WC] Mona Barthel (GER)

Not Before 6:30 PM (12:30 pm Eastern)

Samantha Stosur (AUS) [5]
Maria Sharapova (RUS) [2]

Not Before 8:00 PM (2:00 pm Eastern)

Angelique Kerber (GER)
Petra Kvitova (CZE) [3]

followed by

Nuria Llagostera Vives (ESP)
Monica Niculescu(ROU)
Iveta Benesova (CZE)
Barbora Zahlavova Strycova(CZE) [5]
Special delivery for Carlos

Emily or as Carlos likes to call me "Captain" said...

Caps you mentioned Mona making the Olympic team - at this stage she is not in. Germany impose very tough rules when selecting their Olympic teams. To make the German tennis Olympic squad you need to have made, I believe, At least a QF and a slam or SF at a Premier Mandatory. So Mona will need to do that in order to meet their requirements.

Carlos I will regret it forever! Could have made a comeback :P

Angry Big Mac said...

Thanks for the links and the special delivery.

I shall start with the special delivery:

The German crowd in early games seems mellow, I noticed in both Desdemona matches which were early in the morning the crowd being mild. Thursday's Kirby match, the crowd was a little louder but in the previous Kirby match the crowd was louder. By the time Mrs. Angry played against Petkovic the crowd was very much into the match, of course the highest ranked German was playing the number one ranked player. The German crowd was rooting for an upset. People in the stands may have been a little too wild, Mrs. Angry just wanted the crowd to come down since in the photo she looked ready to return serve.

"That said, EuroSport commentators said Petko was 'just' leaving for the hospital during the latter stages of Bunny/Kerber match. (Which came across to me like this was a long time to wait. Unless of course they had to stabilize the injury or whatever.) Plus they said she left in a wheel chair. Which might be common, not sure."

Caps, the last time I saw a German being carried away in a wheel chair was Licki Bean, when she had her ankle injury at the U.S. Open. I saw it live, it was match point, I first thought she was exaggerating, but when I saw the replay I said, 'This is bad'. I hope Petkovic isn't a serious injury and hope to see her on court ASAP so I can give her hell again. I do agree with you Caps they took too much time to take Petkovic to the hospital.

Wait a minute, I'm defending Mrs. Angry and I'm not critical of Petkovic? It only means I gone soft! I blame three factors: 1)My Girl's prancing always puts me in a good mood. 2)A heart warming moment when Mrs. Angry showed she has compassion. 3)Petkovic booty popping was hypnotizing.

It was a about time my girl Desdemona got some recognition. I didn't see the first set against Bartoli, the aces that I saw from my girl in the second set were down the "T". Sponge Bart was out classed and out powered. I think Desdemona can defeat Mrs. Angry on clay, I didn't see Mrs. Angry being that sharp against Petkovic.

"Mona prancing around is just a ruse and then she starts moving fast on points, eh? Or is she just conserving energy and means no deceit?"

That's one hell of a great question Caps. I think my girl gathers herself while prancing, go figure.

"If anyone knows its Square Pants the genius. That said, I do like the 'kind words' Bartoli spoke of Mona."

The same Bartoli who didn't shake hands with Razzano and who kick her own father out of a Wimbledon match? I'm surprised.

Halep will win Fes. Boobies admirers will hit certain clubs for celebration.

Tomorrow I take:

Na over Aggie..Either Caps or Clefairy will be upset after this match.

Desdemona over Mrs. Angry Bird...That will make Clefairy "pissed off".

If Aggie wins tomorrow with a combination of a Mrs. Angry loss, I would suggest residents of Melbourne to evacuate the city before Clefairy turns into the Hulk. :P

Stosur over Divapova...The cow on ice spectacular tomorrow on Centre Court.

Ostrich over Kirby...Is one thing to beat up a defenseless Bunny, another thing is to beat up an overgrown, powerful, agile, Ostrich.

All matches three will go three sets.

I'll take Nuria/Monica over the Czechs.

Message to Clefairy: If I split the name Desdemona into Desde and Mona, that is Spanish for "From Mona". Ask the Captain she knows Spanish. BTW congratulations on you becoming a teacher and passing along your knowledge :) ...of a dead guy who spoketh in a funnieth wayth. :P

Anonymous said...

Emily, thanks for the info. So, the German Olympic team would leapfrog Mona (assuming Petko is unable to play) and go with a player say in the 100's just because they made a QF back in 2004? That sounds like a raw deal!
Carlos I have found both of Mona's matches on YouTube. And am currently downloading them for later viewing. I use the Firefox add on called, "Download YouTube Videos as MP4 and FLV 1.3.8." And then watch them with VideoLAN (VLC player).

WTA Stuttgart 2012 R2 Barthel vs Bartoli

WTA Stuttgart 2012 R1 Ivanovic vs Barthel

Also found:

WTA Paris 2012 Barthel vs Parmentier 2R 09.02.12

Not sure what language these are in but its not English. The last video is also avaiable in 720p the others are 360p.
McHale groomed to carry banner for U.S. women's tennis
Christina McHale Commits To New Haven Tennis Open
Aga is about to start!

Anonymous said...

Great match between Mona & Bird.

Well, with the exception of Mona hitting four double faults while tied 4-4 in the first set. IMO, she could've won in straight sets without that blunder.

Anyway, not the end of the world but I need a break! Skipping the Stosur/Diva match and will catch Ostrich/Kerber in a couple hours.

Angry Big Mac said...

Desdemona needs to work on serve still.

I agree with you Caps on the four double faults.

With this loss Desdemona joins Mrs. Angry's submissive cell mate club.

Angry Big Mac said...

The only prediction that I got right today was Ostrich advancing.

My Picks: Mona, Na, and Sam lost; all close three setters.

Only the Ostrich/Kirby match didn't go three sets and the pick that I got right.

I only saw Desdemona match and I did had the chance to see Desdemona angry. :P BTW Angry Bird didn't show up for the second set tie breaker. The second set was well played, I lost the feed for half of the third set inexplicably it was switched to an indoor soccer match. At the end my girl ran out gas. Desdemona has become the most dangerous player on tour that no one wants to play or see in their brackets.

Halep lost in the semis to qualifier Bertens. Boobies admirers celebration party is thwarted.

Captain off topic, I always kept forgetting to ask this question: in a run way show how much time is given to a model to change from one outfit to the next? I imagine the team of make up artists and hair dressers are working very fast and precise.

Angry Big Mac said...

Sorry Caps, I forgot to read the stories on Bambi on a previous post of yours. I got Mono fever...I mean Mona fever, or was it Desdemona. :P

I would still say Bambi is quiet on court she does her fist pumps not to the point of exaggeration. I would agree with the article she is the girl next door. I would still advise her to play a small tourney and get the monkey of ”winning a tournament” off her back. I really like her modest attitude she doesn't come across as an insincere player that only wants the spotlight. Looking forward to see Bambi becoming the Queen of New Haven.

Caps I'll try to download those matches hopefully on Sunday. I hope I don't crash anything.

Saturday I'll take:

Mrs. Angry Bird in three sets over Aggie.

Ostrich in straight sets over Divapova.

Anonymous said...

Victoria struck 38 winners (including 5 aces) with only 23 unforced errors (including 8 double faults). Mona lost despite striking 62 winners (13 aces) with a relatively low 43 unforced errors (16 DFs).

Vika totaled 126 points in the 2 hour, 49 minute match; Mona scored 115.

Aga starts shortly.

Anonymous said...

The Big Bad Ostrich isn't so 'bad' anymore. She gave Diva that match and played like total crap.

Hopefully Diva will give Bird a run for her money. Because another blow out will be lame between these two!


First round:


Looks like its smooth sailing for Mona until the Semi's where she'll face either Makarova or Kirilenko.

Kanepi vs Mona final? Sounds good to me.

First round:

Kiki Bertens Caps Dream Week, Wins First WTA Title

Anonymous said...

Radwanska suffering from back injury

After losing to Victoria Azarenka in Stuttgart semis, her fifth loss to the Belarussian this season, world No. 4 Agnieszka Radwanska says that she's suffering from a back injury and will go back to Poland to try and heal. "Clay is not my favorite surface, but playing against same player all the time isn't really fun," she said.
Mona Barthel: "For me, it can still go forward"

I'm just starting to get used to the many tournaments on the many trips to the jet lag.

Angry Big Mac said...

Thanks for the links Caps.

Mrs. Bird takes the title in two easy sets. Too much on court time for Divapova plus I think the Mrs. is in Divapova's head.

I won't have time to see this match. Can someone let me know how it develops? Thank you.

I'll start with the article on Desdemona.

Her rise is similar to the Imbecile's, she kept going up all the way up until she got to the top spot. I hope that A)Desdemona doesn't become an Imbecile B)she doesn't come down crumbling.

That cheating thing against Mrs. Angry didn't sit well with me I'm also hoping it was a one time glitch. Other than that she is very likable.

Impressive win for Bertens who only drop one set to Jeepers Scheepers in the second round of the main draw. She is ranked 149 I have to see how she does with better competition. Was it a fluke or another clay court specialist? Those answers will come as she plays more tournaments as the clay season progresses and when the season changes to grass.

First round in Estoril Jie has the potential to upset eeeeeeh Makarena, BTW I hated and I still hate that stupid song. When I hear it, it gets stuck in my head and it takes days to get it out; same thing with Gumby song.

Back to my girl, this tourney is hers to win but now we'll see how she deals with pressure. She is now expected to win and to play at the same high level she did at Stuttgart. I believe she can do both, my girl can only get better.

Budapest: The Babos plays against the woman that won the title in Thailand, I think. If The Babos advances to the final she might get Errani, it would be a rematch of Monterrey's final where The Babos won her maiden title. Errani can make it to the final, The Babos has to play better than what she has been and it won't be easy for her.

Aggie has been having lower back problems through out this season.

Notes of this past week:
Desdemona's coach deciding to show up at her match with and uncombed mane.

Is it me or does Kiki Bertens looks like the Bunny's clone?

It was over looked, seeded fourth at Fes, Wicki lost in the first round in straight sets.

In Estoril, Caroline Garcia lost in the first round of qualifiers 1-6, 1-6, to Heather Watson. After Caroline choked in Thailand against JJ she has been unconvincing.

Anonymous said...

Aga posted a photo on facebook laying in a bed and clutching her pink laptop!

I think Mona was wiping the mark like players do so it doesn't get confused on another shot.. Or she didn't realize it was going to be questioned. She doesn't seem like the type to be a cheater.

There is every chance that Barthel could soon break into the top 25; very soon, one in five of the elite could be German. Many of these players have been inspired by Graf, with Petkovic saying that it was a thrill just to practise with the former number one. Call them Steffi’s children. If one of these girls could win something big this season, German tennis fans could put those old tapes of Stefanie to the back of the cupboard.

Ula has to be jealous of Kiki.. She took her out on the way to her first title. I haven't actually seen her play much but did watch a couple points of the final. Couldn't really see anything but the camera angle looked mighty long and high which makes it hard to see the type of shots being made.

Not sure if Garcia has a coach or not but she needs a better one pronto. I think this chick can flat out play but of course she chokes. And of course going through qualies all the time doesn't leave much gas in the tank come the main draw.

Anonymous said...

Diva kicked Bird's ass 6-1, 6-4! Plus, Bird had an injury timeout, the announcers we're selling this 'wrist ailment' big time. But, I'm not buying it.

You could tell Diva really wanted that title.

Angry Big Mac said...

Thanks Caps for the recap of Diva/Bird match. I'll start with that match.

Here are my 10 points why Divapova really wanted that title:
1)Coming on top of the toughest field in a non-mandatory tourney.
2)She no longer wanted to be Mrs. Angry's submissive cell mate.
3)The desire to collect the heads of three top five players: #5 Stosur, #3 Ostrich, #1 Angry Bird in successive order.
4)Sending the message the "Big B...." is back.
5)Telling the whole world Cow On Ice is spectacular.
6)Wanted her precious spotlight back.
7)Getting into the heads of her rivals.
8)I always leave this number blank.
9)To be the talk leading up to RG.
10)Wanting to give that white Porsche to Sacha as a present.

Here is how the Desdemona's "cheating" went down: Point ended ball was call out. I could tell My Girl was mad and set herself very quickly to serve. Mrs. Angry Bird wasn't sure and started to walk to the net. My girl kept herself on the base line bouncing the ball and jumping up and down. Bird kept walking and asked for the mark to be checked. Before the umpire got to the mark my girl walked over and rubbed it. The gentleman announcer, "Oooooh Mona just push the mark out", lady announcer, "Yes she sure did" gentleman announcer, "That was naughty of Mona" (picture both announcers with British accents. Love the "naughty" pronunciation :P ) When umpire walked over then she made a semi circle with her racket to mark the spot. I'll let it slide...but remember cheaters never win my girl should have talked to the Princess before hand. :P

Stefanie should teach this kids mental toughness starting with Sabine, and lets not forget Petkovic, and Julia G. I'm more sold on Kirby and Desdemona than the rest. Right now the Germans are looking like the Russians of last decade. Bunch of Russians were out there but only two Russians with slam titles; Kuznetsova and Myskina. One lost interest and the other one is a one slam wonder. Again, Divapova doesn't count as a Russian in my book.

I'll now ask this question, does Caroline Garcia has the cash to pay for a coach? You are right Caps, going through qualies is burning Garcia out just like it did to Bambi.

Now I'll check out the links for the matches.

Anonymous said...

I'll now ask this question, does Caroline Garcia has the cash to pay for a coach?

Good question, didn't think about that. Garcia has been a pro for 3 years and made a total of $149,144 / 3 = $49,714 per year and $27,913 YTD.

Guess the answer to that would be 'NO' for a traveling coach but perhaps France has a program similiar to what Oudin & McHale are involved in? Maybe she's already apart of their setup? Hmmmm

Naughty Mona? Say it ain't so! hahaha

Guess Mona doesn't play today according to the OOP. Will be on the lookout for her match tomorrow. Hopefully it won't start at 4am Eastern. There is a 5 hour difference in my timezone.

Still not sure what is going on between Vesnina & Mirza. But, they are playing doubles at different tournaments this week! Will try to hit Vesnina up on twitter and see if she responds.

Anonymous said...

Well, my week has offically been ruined!

Mona says:

30.4.: Due to my foot injury, I had to withdraw from the tournament in Estoril. Hopefully, I will be fit for Madrid.

Tennis player Mona Barthel Brave new world

The end of the Sania Mirza dream

(Mirza finally quits singles.)

Angry Big Mac said...

Today is truly a Blaaaaah Day.

Thanks for the links and news Caps.

I'm more sad about my girl Naughty Mona's withdrawal than Mirza's singles retirement.

Quote of the week: Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

Because I love to check out my girl's hair bun:

I said hair bun!

Proof that cheaters never win:

Aaaaaah seems good times were ages ago:

Yes Sensei:

On Sania Mirza: "It might be fair to say that we’ve become so used to watching her lose in the first rounds of big tournaments that many of us even wondered why she had not taken the step before." Bingo! She is still a super star in India and she knows doubles is big in India, meaning she still will rack up the dough. I never liked her and I won't miss her. Is she pretty? Yes, she has her appeal but not to my taste that's because I didn't see her as nice.

Naughty Mona: This is a great quote, "I'm not the best person in the world, just because I can hit a few tennis balls into the box." She is not aloof like Henin, phony like Davenport, conceited like Kournikova, and with no attitude like Divapova. I hope she doesn't change.

A message to Clefairy: As your stock broker I'll advise you to keep a very close eye on The Babos stock this week. She is playing in Budapest and if she doesn't produce there you might reconsider investing in that stock. Don't be fooled about her "potential" what I question and you should too is commitment. She skipped Indian Wells and Miami two mandatory tourneys which she had the ranking points to be in the main draw, and no injury report from her camp. When she got back to play she came back less fit, this is where "potential" fails. My question to you Clefairy, do you really want to invest in a potential but non-committal stock?

Checking the stocks:

Divapova: shot up.

Mrs. Angry Bird: Took a slight down turn, no biggie, no worries at this time. Great stock to invest and have in your portfolio.

Naughty Mona: Definitely a keeper stock! Buy as a much stock as you can. Still rising even though she retired this week. She has been complaining of jet lag and being tired, maybe the injury is just an excuse to rest...disclaimer: she is my girl I'm biased.

Ostrich: the stock is losing luster, losing two in a row against Divapova and being inconsistent is not helping the cause. Future still bright.

Aggie: her stock tumble some what. She has to find a way at all cost to get out of Mrs. Angry's cell.

Bunny: sell, sell, sell! Before it crashes.

Not looking good: Na, Furby, The Babos.

Not good at all: Wicki and Nasti Pav.

Anonymous said...

Carlos, you come up with some great photos on Flickr! Back when I used to frequent the site, I would search for something and couldn't seem to pull up new photos. It almost seemed like they were random and would repeat which is very lame. Do you visit certain 'known' pages of people that take photos or have they changed the options to search by newest?

As of April 30, 2012

Hantuchova, Daniela 18 (19)
Kirilenko, Maria 19 (20)
Goerges, Julia 20 (21)
Safarova, Lucie 21 (22)
Pavlyuchenkova, Anastasia 22 (23)
Vinci, Roberta 23 (18)
Cetkovska, Petra 28 (30)
Wickmayer, Yanina 29 (31)
Niculescu, Monica 30 (29)
Barthel, Mona 31 (35)
Medina Garrigues, Anabel 32 (26)
Halep, Simona 47 (55)
Gajdosova, Jarmila 55 (49)
Arn, Greta 69 (75)
Cadantu, Alexandra 74 (80)
Larsson, Johanna 80 (69)
Stephens, Sloane 83 (78)
Cornet, Alize 88 (100)
Johansson, Mathilde 90 (108)
Bertens, Kiki 92 (149)
Radwanska, Urszula 96 (92)
Falconi, Irina 97 (104)
Hradecka, Lucie 98 (71)
Jovanovski, Bojana 99 (96)
Pous-Tio, Laura 100 (110)
Mattek-Sands, Bethanie 102 (98)
Amanmuradova, Akgul 107 (116)
Robson, Laura 123 (120)
Oudin, Melanie 278 (370)
Chakvetadze, Anna 369 (402)

Angry Big Mac said...

Thank you Caps!

This is a special delivery to you Caps:

And this, with Nasti Pav's tattoo and undies.

There are members on Flickr that are professionals and have only tennis players photos. I use their links but not all the time due to the possibility copyright infringement, after all they own the content. I rather give links of random people (fans) who have posted their photos.

There are three search options in Flickr relevant, recent, interesting. It still need improvements if you misspell a name you won't get anything, it doesn't give you options as in Google or Yahoo. I type a player's name and click recent, I look for the best photo that I can find and give out the link here.

Is more than certain there are more members on Flickr now than before. I still don't like a few things like profile of members still being visible to the public even if their accounts are set in private.

Here are some links of Flickr members that have great photos, I think this guys are professionals:

This guy has good photos:

and the best IMO

First thing that I noticed is Mr. Oudin's jumping almost 100 points! Did she made a deal with the devil? :P

Wicki poor performances and still climbing.

Bethanie out the top 100.

Robson steady in 120s.

Halep back in the top 50.

Angry Big Mac said...

My post went missing! :/ I'll try again. Now I'm upset.

Thank you Caps!

Special delivery to Caps:

And this, along with Nasti Pav tattoo and undies:

Caps there are people on Flickr that I think are professionals. I like to give links of regular people (fans) to avoid problems.

Check out these links.

I think this guys are pro:

This guy is really good:

IMO the best:

Flickr has three search options relevant, recent, and interesting. I search in recent and look for the best photos that I can find and give the link here, the coolest place on earth. :P

I don't like Flickr that much. For starers the search is horrible! If you misspell a name you don't get anything, unlike Google, Yahoo, or Getty where you get name options. A member's profile is public even if the account is set private. At times is takes time to get to a photo.

First thing I noticed Mr. Oudin jumped almost 100 places. Did she make a deal with the devil? :P

Wicki moved up even with her recent blunders.

Halep breaking into the top 50 again. I'll wait after this week to see if I should invest in sports bra stocks. :P

Laura Robson hanging in the 120s.

Bethanie out of the top 100.

I typed fast hope it makes sense.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the links!

Does fairytale win devalue the Tour?
Big, bad Vika is back. We were worried.

I didn't realize Kiki was 27.

Anonymous said...


Angry Big Mac said...

Thank you for the test and links Caps.

Actually Kiki is 20 years old born in December 10 1991.

This article brings a good point but everyone deserves a chance to win. The article failed to mention that the fourth seed Wicki was there and was upset in the first round. The number one seed Anabel M. G. was upset by Halep. The number two seed Kuznetsova retired with an injury. Third seed Cetkovska was upset in the quarters; and those were your top four seeds. One can argue this tournament was Halep (who was seeded fifth and had been in the final two years in a row) to take but the scraps that were left...I mean players who made it to semis were choke artist including Halep. The player to blame is Pous Tio, how could lose to a tired qualifier? But she did.

I didn't see anything malicious on the Mrs. Angry/Diva bump. You can see that Divapova trying to avoid hitting the metal hand rail.

I do agree with Caps in questioning Mrs. Angry "injury". To me that "injury" of hers seemed as real a unicorn. Mrs. Angry was acting like a horse's ass after the match. Yes, you can understand a player's disappointment but she should grow up. She decided to go to the locker room OK I understand she went there to blow steam, oh wait she came out with a sourpuss face, so why did she took off? Was Divapova disrespecting the ceremonies when she kept losing to Mrs. Angry? No! Mrs. Angry got her butt kick and she didn't like it at all and "got pissed off" about it.

To whomever wrote that article "Sharapova was dripping in sincerity", if you truly believe that then I have a bridge in San Francisco that I would love to sell you.

I said it before Tu stick to Angry Bird like velcro.

Babos match: as I told Caps I couldn't tell if her belly were bigger than her breast. I stepped out in the third set and came back when she was already down 0-3; I also couldn't tell if she ran out gas or if she gave up. The announcer said she is seeing psychologist, well that person has a lot work work to do on the "Belly Dancer". She loses her cool for no reason, is a racket thrower, and lacks fitness that everyone could hear her heavy breathing. So another temper drama queen on the tour, no wonder why Clefairy has interest in investing on this stock. :P BTW second straight first round loss for the Belly Dancer might be three. She has the power but she is wild and needs accuracy.

Anonymous said...

Can Kuznetsova find clay-court groove?

No. 31 Mona Barthel: When she's landing her bold serve and timing her groundstrokes, the 21-year-old seems capable of hitting winners at will on any surface. She hit 62 winners versus world No. 1 Victoria Azarenka in a 6-4, 6-7, 7-5 loss last week. A year ago, Barthel was an explosive, erratic world No. 196 who qualified for her first major at the French Open. Last week, she swept former French Open champion Ivanovic and 2011 Roland Garros semifinalist Marion Bartoli in succession to reach her fourth quarterfinal of the season, in Stuttgart. The 6-foot German's fearless shot-making and ability to hit all the angles off her authoritative strokes have her on the fast track for the top 10 (her 26 wins are third-most among WTA players this season) if she can tame her tendency to play too close to the lines.

Carlos, are we sure the Belly Dancer doesn't just need a belly rub??

Angry Big Mac said...

Thanks for the articles Caps.

To me Kuznetsova is done. Two years without a title signifies the end is near. She gave up when she lost interest at Indian Wells, well, couple of years ago.

I agree on two players: Naughty Desdemona and Errani. I lean more on Errani because Italians do well on clay.
Anabel M.G. is a threat in doubles in fact she won a title with the Bunny a couple years back, in China. As we all know too well Bunny sucks at doubles. In singles at best a deep run to the fourth round but nothing more. I wouldn't be surprise if Anabel is upset early.
I don't trust Julia G. she wilts in pressure situations, at a big stage like RG this most certainly that is a given specially in second week.
Experience is the negative factor my Naughty Desdemona. She seems fearless out there, no nervous glitches at Hobart's semis or final but I thought she was nervous in the first set against Mrs. Angry in her QF match in Stuttgart. Up 2-0 in the first set I noticed she got nervous and quickly went down 2-4. The four double faults in game 9 as Caps mentioned when they were tied at 4 were clear signs of nervousness. Can she keep her emotions in check or playing at "home" made her nervous?
Errani still unbeaten this year on clay. Her awful track record at RG can mean that anyone can upset Errani early and claim it as a big upset. She will lose at some point in this clay season and it will be good for her. I don't think she can handle going into RG unbeaten. I think she makes it into the second week. I would love to see her against Divapova around the fourth round. She is a dark horse able to go the semis. I do not want to see a Naughty Desdemona/Errani match earlier than the semis.

Caps for sure she does need that belly rub! And maybe a little more...Maybe? But who would volunteer for such a thing?

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't mind seeing Ula work that belly!

But, then again, the 'dude' just retired in the second set earlier so she seems to have some free time on her hands.

60 seconds with Agnieszka Radwanska, the world number four.

Angry Big Mac said...

Since my girl retired and the Belly Dancer went poof, I haven't paid attention to the tournaments.

Speaking of mid-section this is for the ladies:

Jie upset wait for it...eeeeeeeh Makarena.

In turn Jie was upset by Galina. Tempting to call her "Gallina", that is Spanish for hen or maybe call her "Chicken".

Princess was upset in the second round by ZzZzZ Knapp ZzZZz.

For his standards the "Dude" has been playing good.

Thanks for the fun article Caps. Although I don't see Jolie playing Aggie, I see this Costa Rican actress/model that works in Mexico, Mariluz Bermudez. Here is a link for her Twitter avatar:

If this blog was a movie this would be the movie stars that would play us:
Captain = Nicole Kidman wearing extra high heels.
Clefairy = Sofia Vergara with an Aussie accent.
Caps321 = Batman
Angry Big Mac: The gentleman with long hair and the Buddha tattoo in the YouTube link.

Anonymous said...

Career records - As of April 30, 2012

A lot is made of grand slam titles and YTD stats these days. I couldn't seem to find any websites that just had a list of players 'all time' records on one page. Maybe that's because I just did a cursory search? Or perhaps no one cares but me!

Wins|Loses|Winning Percentage (rounded)

01 - Azarenka - 308 - 124 - 71%
02 - Sharapova - 434 - 108 - 82%
03 - Kvitova - 215 - 99 - 68%
04 - Radwanska - 317 - 139 - 70%
05 - Stosur - 376 - 258 - 59%
06 - Wozniacki - 316 - 115 - 73%
07 - Bartoli - 446 - 269 - 62%
08 - Li - 404 - 156 - 72%
09 - S. Williams - 513 - 106 - 83%
10 - Zvonareva - 460 - 216 - 68%
11 - Schiavone - 492 - 342 - 59%
12 - Petkovic - 272 - 157 - 63%
13 - Lisicki - 195 - 121 - 62%
14 - Kerber - 278 - 167 - 62%
15 - Ivanovic - 316 - 138 - 70%
16 - Cibulkova - 235 - 147 - 62%
17 - Jankovic - 469 - 246 - 66%
18 - Hantuchova - 475 - 299 - 61%
19 - Kirilenko - 304 - 214 - 59%
20 - Goerges - 242 - 150 - 62%
21 - Safarova - 262 - 189 - 58%
22 - Pavlyuchenkova - 196 - 113 - 63%
23 - Vinci - 384 - 264 - 59%
24 - Pennetta - 491 - 299 - 62%
25 - Peng - 315 - 186 - 63%
26 - Kuznetsova - 460 - 208 - 69%
27 - Errani - 291 - 215 - 58%
28 - Cetkovska - 351 - 176 - 67%
29 - Wickmayer - 259 - 123 - 68%
30 - Niculescu - 308 - 180 - 63%
31 - Barthel - 178 - 85 - 68%
32 - Medina Garrigues - 442 - 300 - 60%
33 - Zheng - 333 - 210 - 61%
34 - Kanepi - 322 - 198 - 62%
35 - Petrova - 487 - 271 - 64%
36 - McHale - 140 - 95 - 60%
41 - Clijsters - 513 - 124 - 81%
70 - V. Williams - 605 - 149 - 80%

Angry Big Mac said...

Caps that was one hell of a research and post!

I first looked at the players with the highest winning percentage, no surprise the veterans are on top Serena, Divapova, Kim, and Venus. It surprised me Venus is the player with most victories, I thought it was Serena then again Venus is the oldest. Older players who are stubborn to retire after they pass their prime hurt these percentages dramatically. Divapova's shoulder injury hampered this percentages. looking at the Bunny's record with all the smaller tournaments that she played and avoiding playing the top five didn't raise her winning percentage, at 73% is quite pathetic considering the the courses that she took.

I'll give you a gold star Caps and this:

Qualifying draw in Barcelona is out Bethanie vs Lickitongue in the first round.

Anonymous said...

10 thoughts on Madrid’s blue clay. Talk of the town here in Madrid, has, of course, been the blue clay. Here are a few differing opinions from the players…
Mona Barthel is fearless, explosive, and can hit just about anyone off the court—she can also implode if she’s missing—but as she gains experience and learns to play the score and situation I think she’s going to be dangerous.

Mona Barthel: I’ll start by saying that I wish she didn’t have the same first name as the lusty grandma character in a Tony Danza sitcom from the 80s. At the same time, there’s no more exciting element of pro tennis than seeing a new talent start showing what she can do. It’s been a while since we had one of those on the men’s side, but Barthel has qualified so far this year. I like her timing and loose power, but I wonder about her mentality. She’s tough and pesky most of the time, but then she has flat-out choked on a few recent occasions as well. Will Barthel grow out of that with experience and more confidence? Or will it be a permanent feature of her game? For now, it's good just to be able to ask the question of a young player and really wonder about the answer.

^^^^^ comments from fans ^^^^^
Errani, Vesnina to meet in Budapest final

Btw, Wozniak made it to her first quarter final but lost to Tatishvili. I think she was just nervous and might break the top 50 next Monday.
The Racquet Scientist: Roland Garros Wildcards

Oudin will earn the wild card if she wins or makes the final at Indian Lakes, but Coco Vandeweghe or Lauren Davis could catch her.
Report: Jankovic sought to swipe Serena's hitting partner
New Zealand tennis number one Marina Erakovic is through to her first WTA semifinal on clay.

Madrid Open

First round:

Bird vs Kuzzie
Petrova vs King
Halep vs Venus
Wickmayer vs Gajdosova
Vinci vs Cibulkova
Peer vs Hercog
Cirstea vs Bartoli
Stosur vs Martic
Arvidsson vs McHale
Cetkovska vs Zvonareva
Kirilenko vs Zheng
Makarova vs Voskoboeva
Erakovic vs Ostrich
Bunny vs Pervak
Barthel vs Goerges
Vesnina vs Serena
Safarova vs Kanepi

Possible second round:

Kerber vs Venus
Wickmayer vs Cibulkova
Stosur vs McHale
Kirilenko vs Makarova
Barthel vs Bunny
Serena vs Nasty Pav
JJ vs Kanepi or Safarova

Possible third round:

Azarenka vs Imbecile
Li Na vs Kerber or Venus
Aga vs Cibulkova
Schiavone vs Bartoli
Kirilenko vs Ostrich
Barthel vs Serena
Sharapova vs ?


Some tough matchups but none more than Mona having to face Serena in the third round. I have no doubt she can get past Goerges/Bunny but this is utter BS.

Angry Big Mac said...

Thanks for the links Caps.

Tatishvili had a great on clay tourney last year, this was her turn again to make a run. I take Errani in the final in straight sets. Pretty good for Vesnina Caps.

The Brian Baker story: he was a bust, injuries are part of the game. BTW Tommy John surgery makes baseball pitchers throw harder and Kuerten was chicken. USTA better have a wild card open cause Bethanie might need one.

It was more interesting how Dennis Quaid stole Serena's hitting partner's date.

Well Vesnina got her revenge on Erakovic for pulling out the doubles and leaving Vesnina in the blank.

Right now Naughty Desdemona is the better version of the Belly Dancer minus the temper tantrums. I don't fear Serena on red clay a comment said the last time that she won on red clay in 2002, that is a decade ago; maybe the reason why she skipped Stuttgart. I don't fear Divapova in an open red clay court she doesn't know how to battle the elements. Playing indoors in Stuttgart, Divapova had the advantage to play in a "bubble" and won. Naughty Desdemona's coach has to work in her accuracy in serves and ground strokes, she has improved but she has a lot improving to do. Naughty Desdemona has the possibility not face these big name players, if she does, she has the advantage because she is more apt to play on clay than these big name Ball Bashers; their complaining tells me so. But I'm I'm biased.

Green clay makes the ball bounce higher like hard court, advantage Ball Bashers: Serena won Charleston.

Red clay, ball doesn't ball as high even less when wet (rain) = Ball Bashers doom.

So they say blue clay makes the ball bounce even lower. Ball Bashers are doomed and ripe for upsets in the early rounds you know who they are, hint: they are the ones with no opinions or are negatively vocal about it.

Slippery surface is not a problem since everyone said that Stuttgart surface is slippery. In one of the questions that my girl answered she said that the surface in Stuttgart was "slippery". She did fine and everyone else did too an no complains.

The way Wicki is playing she is going down in the first round.

Angry Big Mac said...

Correction: when I wrote that Serena hasn't won anything on clay I meant to say she hasn't won any titles on clay since 2002. It wasn't my intention to misquote the person that wrote the information.

BTW I would like to know who were the chickens...I mean players along with Serena who protested against the blue clay.

Anonymous said...

In today's edition of stupid Bunny comments:

Wozniacki: Robotic racquets in the future?

Former world No. 1 Caroline Wozniacki tells reporters in Madrid that the game keeps evolving, for better or worse. "Everything changing all the time, like with cars," the now sixth-ranked Dane said. "You see new models and some of the newer ones are better than the older ones just a little, but sometimes it’s a big change and a big step forward. With the [tennis] equipment as well, I don’t know where it will be in 10 years, but maybe you will push a button and racket will play itself."
The Anti-Ten: WTA
Kanepi wins Estoril WTA title
Italy's Errani wins WTA final
Mona beats Goerges 6-4, 6-1.

Angry Big Mac said...

Thanks once again for the links Caps.

Caps everything that comes out the Bunny's mouth nowadays is stupid.

I barely saw the first article in my computer, I didn't have time for some reason the copy and paste on my cell is not working for this post. I'll give my comments anyways.

Vesnina chocked, in the first set she was up 5-4 when I looked at the soreboard she ended up losing the set 7-5. The match ended when Vesnina double faulted, Errani won 7-5, 6-4. enough said.

Kai Kenepi had 8 double faults and one ace. I didn't see the match but as I usually do I check the match statistics and it was a three set battle. Congrats to Kanepi ever since she got in shapeshe has produced. Carla is one those players that once ina while will pull a great upset or make a big run in a tourney. The final score 3-6, 7-6 (6), 6-4, match time two hours and thity seven minutes.

Bambi won in straight sets over Ardvisson 6-4, 7-5.

My girl Desdemona awaiting the Bunny if she makes it to the second round.

First news link, I'll give my take on RG 12:
Divapova will only win if the weather conditions are right.
Serena no shot at all (Hi Captain!).
Ostrich I don't see her doing anything until grass and summer hard courts.
Vera is done.
Mrs. Angry Bird is my top choice in taking the title.
Bunny no shot! Now that she doesn't get easy draws because of her rankings slide and now everyone can see that she is not that good.
Na is a choker at thirty I don't see her going through grueling rounds in the dirt.
Stosur there are players out there who are playing better than her.
Aggie has the clay court game. Last year on this blog Caps called her the ”Duchess”. The Captain said, ”She is only the 'Duchess' in clay season”. At least the semis she got the stuff to win it.
Venus see Serena.
Errani she makes it till the second week, the dark horse of this year.
Ivanovic can't beat top players much less back to back.
Spinge Bart wheels are coming off at seems home pressure will cook her.
Kerbey has the chops to make it into the quarters I wouldn't call her a dark horse cause she has the experience.
Princess fourth round at best.
Naughty Desdemona, I'm biased, into the second week for sure, call her the second dark horse. It depends if she can handle being in the big stage called the second week of a grand slam tournament.

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